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Often a couple will want a wedding that is a bit more personal than a civil ceremony, but they have no church with which they are affiliated. They are concerned that their wedding must be performed by a mayor, judge or other civil servant who really has no interest in who they are or what they want. Other couples want a non-religious ceremony, but want a spiritual or romantic mood on their special day. Still others are interfaith couples who would like both faiths represented at the wedding, but find that their own clergy are reluctant to co-officiate with someone of another belief system. Then there are those couples who want something really unique: a ceremony underwater, up in a hot air balloon or on a beach at sunset. Who will perform this ceremony for them? How do you go about getting a ceremony that says just what is in your hearts? (click for more)
The answer to these questions is not that hard. You need a non-denominational minister. This means a minister who does not have a specific religious affiliation, such as Lutheran, Presbyterian, or Baptist, but is affiliated with an established non-denominational church. A non-denominational minister should be able to perform wedding ceremonies that meet each couples desires and expectations. He or she can perform ceremonies with Christian, Jewish, Buddhist or even Druid elements. They should also be able to perform a ceremony with absolutely no mention of a higher power at all if that is what you want. Each ceremony should be a reflection of the individual couple’s idea of the perfect ceremony and an expression of exactly what they want to say A couple seeking a non-denominational minister should look for one who will interview each couple individually. It is preferable to have the couple meet with their minister in person, but it should be an option to have the interview over the phone if time or distance is an issue. He or she should listen to their love story and to their hopes and beliefs. It is essential to find out what elements whey want in their ceremony, such as readings, unity candle lighting, memorials for deceased loved ones, type of vows wanted, and how much or how little they want to say themselves. The next step is to assist the couple in writing their ceremony. Each ceremony should be individually written from beginning to end. Certain elements are required but these are not many and can be said in many different ways. Each couple’s vows can be written to express exactly what they want to promise to each other. The couples should be guided each step of the way in composing as much or as little as they want to themselves. If they want a reading but do not know what one to use, The non-denominational minister should be able to research to find a selection from which they may choose the one that best expresses their thoughts. The couple must have the opportunity to review the first draft of the ceremony and to read it over and make any changes or additions they want. The minister should work with them until it is just right. This task needs to be completed at least a week before the actual wedding day so the couple has time to familiarize themselves with the content. It is an additional bonus if the couple is given a copy of this ceremony as a memento and the couple should ask if this can be done.. On the day of the wedding, the minister should arrive at the wedding site ahead of time to make sure everything is ready and that the ceremony is held without incident. Ask if the minister will provide the Unity Candle, the memorial candles or perhaps even music for the ceremony if needed. The minister should be concerned that each bride has the wedding of her dreams and that everything goes as planned. Finally, ask if the minister will order a certified copy of the marriage certificate sent to your home at no additional charge. |